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20130123
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COM 17
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Search Results 0 to 16 of about 17 (some duplicates have been removed)
Comedy Central
Jan 22, 2013 10:30am PST
higher. and i'll discuss obama's second term with editor for the atlantic, ta-nehisi coates. which one of us will be black? the answer may surprise you. [ laughter ] atari filed for bankruptcy today but they're thinking about just taking it out, blowing on it, and seeing if it'll work again. [ laughter ] this is "the colbert report." ["the colbert report" theme music captioning sponsored by comedy central playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the show, everybody. [chowd chanting see it fen] thank you so much. thank you, ladies and gentlemen. [cheers and applause] welcome to tonight's simulcast. good to have you with us. [ laughter ] folks, as a broadcaster, it's my sacred responsibility to bring you the latest information that i watched on some other cable tv network. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] but frankly, today there was no real news to report. instead everbody was obsessed with something they kept calling-- >> second inauguration of barack obama. >> second inauguration. >> second inauguration. >> stephen: wrong. check your constitution. >> "president shall be inaugurated on janua
Comedy Central
Jan 17, 2013 10:45am PST
fruit really. and my guest tom brokaw is here to talk about president obama's second term. i'll ask him if there's any way to avoid a third. [ laughter ] a shop is charging a fee for liberal customers. that has to sting for utah's liberal. this is stephen colbert. ["the colbert report" theme music captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) [crowd chanting stephen] [cheers and applause] >> stephen: welcome to the broadcast. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. please. good to have you with us. as you can see, folks i'm on top of the world today. [ laughter ] because of the study i read that forcing a smile genuinely makes you happier. i have to say, this study makes sense. that joker guy seems really chipper. [ laughter ] this is great news. i'm just so sad i didn't know it before. all right. all right. let's see what is happening in the news tonight. okay. checking the web here. president obama signed 23 gun control measures today and called on congress to ban assault weapons and 100 round magazines. [ laughter ] there goes my fishing trip, okay? [ laughter ] mor
Comedy Central
Jan 18, 2013 1:30am PST
our sandwiches are going to be metric because america is finish. yesterday obama shredded constitution and nointed him self-gun snatcher the magnificent. jim? >> we'll make it easier to keep guns outs of hands of criminals by strengthening the background check system. we'll help scores hire resource officers. congress should restore a ban an military assault weapons and ten round limit for magazines. the jowrt of americans agree with us on this and by the way so did ronald rage spheenchts take a cheap shot at ronald reagan. what are you trying to do impress jody foster? [ laughter ] the president should focus on the strengthening the poll swiz know -- policies we know make us safe like making sure nobody brings tweezers on to an airplane. he knew it wasn't going to pass the smell test sew stoopped to surrounding himself with children. like this confused boy, joey. he loves trains. it was a transparent appeal to our humanity. luckily rush limb bawp doesn't have any. >> obama uses kids as human shields. he bringses these kids who wrote, supposedly, letters to the white house
Comedy Central
Jan 23, 2013 10:30am PST
] enjoy gitmo, malia. [ laughter ] and the more i think about, the less impressed i am with obama's speech. and it's not just me. it's everyone on fox news. [ laughter ] >> the president made the case for big government. >> this speech today was an ode to big government. it was a hymn to big government. at his heart, i think president obama is a socialist. >> stephen: yes, at his heart he is a socialist. ever notice how it shares the blood with all the other organs? [ laughter ] well sorry, obama, your class warfare isn't going to work. fox news contributor and shamwow pitchman stuart varney knows the reason why. [ laughter ] >> rich people, powerful people, in america today, are reviled. they're dismissed as fat cats who don't pay their fair share. we just hate 'em-- rich people are evil. yet, along comes this show "downton abbey"-- rich people prominently featured and they're generous; they're nice people; they create jobs, for heaven's sake; they're classy; they've got style and we love 'em. that show is wildly popular, which poses a threat to the left, doesn't it? >> stephen: ye
Comedy Central
Jan 14, 2013 6:55pm PST
leader obama is more determined than ever to take away our guns in that he has never tried to take away our guns. [ laughter ] but last week, he appointed reich marshal biden to head up a gun safety task force that will convene a "series of meetings" and "offer recommendations--" "in an effort to build consent for action." meetings? recommendations? effort? [ laughter ] folks, that is a slippery slope to jackbooted powerpoint presentations. [ laughter ] now, fortunately, folks, there are rational voices out there, who have a reasoned response to those who want gun regulation. >> now get a gun and go after her hide! well said. and sam's not alone. standing with him is nra head wayne lapierre, who in the wake of unimaginable tragedy, put forth a simple plan to reassure our troubled nation. >> i call on congress today to act immediately to appropriate whatever is necessary to have put armed police officers in every single school in this nation. >> stephen: yes, just put armed officers in every school. they can work it into the prom theme: enchantment under the siege. [ laughter ] and
Search Results 0 to 16 of about 17 (some duplicates have been removed)